Saturday, February 28, 2009

My New Club Rocks

I'm hung-over and have the worst menstrual cramps. I worked a double shift yesterday. Exhausting! I have two different names at two different clubs:
Ruby = Classy Club
Chase = Broadway Club

I've been at the Broadway Club for a week now. My friend Summer started with me at the Classy Club almost three weeks ago and said she wanted to check out more clubs. The Broadway Club has the same house mom as the Classy Club (which is only temporary for her. All the Deja Vu clubs in the city are co-owned by the same people.). Summer and I were offered a one shift per week schedule and the usual standard in all clubs is that you have to work at least three. The Broadway Club gave us this option simply because we're coming from Classy Club and they are in desperate need of good looking girls. I know girls who work mandatory three shift schedules at two different clubs. That's a mandatory six shifts a week. Um, part of the reason we're strippers is so we don't have to do that. The Broadway club said we can even do splits if we want to. That means that if we work at Classy Club during the day we can then show up at Broadway Club at 8pm even though check in is at 6pm. They're suppose to charge you a late fee of up to $200.00 if you're late for check in. Our deal is pretty sweet and that's what we did yesterday.

The Broadway Club is a lot of fun. It's seedy, has way more if a party vibe, gets out-of-towner Broadway foot traffic, and some crazy bitches that work there are down right hilarious! It also has history. It was this countries first strip club and employed Carol Doda, the first woman to ever have had silicone injected into her Ta-tas. They're also famous for a piano they keep hung over the back entry way. The piano used to lower from the ceiling with girls dancing on it who crawled up onto it from the second floor. One evening, after hours the assistant manager was doing his girlfriend on top of the piano. Some how the lever switch switched on and he was crushed between the piano and the ceiling. The girl was saved by her pelvic bone and his enormous belly....ew.

I worked a double with Summer at Classy Club during the day and Broadway Club at night. We both ended up walking with a little more than $500.00. This may be seen by some as pathetic but I try to keep it in perspective. I remember working as a legal secretary making $550.00 a week. Now, with a debilitating economy where people getting laid off on a daily bases I can make that on a Friday and it's fun. It also allows me time to work on my novel and travel. Not only do I not have to fuck anyone I don't have to even interact with people I don't like. 

Last night was slow at Broadway Club. Still, it was entertaining. Both Summer and my boyfriends came in to see us. My boyfriend took a liking to another dancer named Ashley. Ashley is a shorter busty brunette with nice fake tits and pretty blue eyes and ink black hair. I myself am tan, tall, thin, v. leggy with long blond hair. My tits are a perky smallish C. I'm proud of them. They're real. All of us were getting drunk and my boyfriend kept the drinks coming and gave us plenty of money for our doubles dances. I didn't even feel a twinge of jealousy, although I would feel pretty awkward if Ashley found out he's actually my live-in boyfriend, not my regular from the Classy Club which we had her believe.

Ashley was fighting with Evan, the Broadway Club's Assistant Manager. Rumor from the Classy Club is that Ashley and Evan are an item. What is it with hot strippers hooking up with not hot managers? Ashley is twenty-four and dumb. There, I answered my own question. Ashley talked her friend from grade school into coming into The Broadway Club and taught her how to dance. Her name is now Blondie. Blondie is about Ashley's same height with a bigger boob job, twice as much fake tan and obviously, is blond. It didn't take long until Evan was fucking Blondie in the office while Ashley was working the floor. Some how Ashley found out and the air is tense between the two girls. Ashley thinks she's in love with Evan for whatever reason. The girls are civil enough with each other now but talk a lot of shit behind each other's backs. If Ashley is drunk she'll yell at Evan on the floor in front of everyone for talking to Blondie for too long and/or ignoring her.

I first saw Blondie on my second shift and she approached my with disdained curiosity. Being tall and blond I'm her biggest competition. Her regulars kept insisting on introducing us to each other creating awkward tension each and every time. Because Blondie didn't like me Ashley automatically became my ally. It's really stupid.

There are only four hot girls that work at The Broadway Club. Me, Ashley, Blondie and Summer. The other girls are tweekers, old, ugly or all of the above. During the week we hardly have to work. Guys will approach the floor of us to ask us for dances. It's quite an ego boost. I was trying to 'make friends' and called one of the girls over after she got off stage to do a doubles dance with me. On stage she looked kind of pretty. Up close she looked ravaged. She was sallow, had missing teeth, and her eyes darted nervously around while she chewed her lips and scratched her face. She wouldn't stop talking and when she talked, it was really fast. Her name is Phedra and I will never ask her to join me again. She made my customer so uncomfortable he left.

Still, my all time ultimate Fugly Award goes to Miss Asia! According to Classy Club girls she's danced at almost every club in the bay at one time or another. Even though she's beat up looking she has a pretty okay body. Still, she actually as some thinning hair on the verge of becoming straight up bald spots on the back of her head. Even though there are black spots where her teeth should be in her cavernous mouth, Asia's eyes are her worst feature. At some point in her life she attempted to have her eyes widened through cosmetic surgery. It was a botched job. You can see her entire eyeball and she doesn't blink that much. It looks almost like tooth picks are holding open her eyes really wide. Her nick name is The Grudge. She doesn't wear stripper shoes but professional dance shoes. Two inch cha-cha s to be exact which gives her an even weirder Lynchian film feel. She moon walks across the stage, and when she's not moon walking she sorta scuttles around. Out of all the strippers I've ever seen she is by far the most disturbing.


2 comments:

Natalie said...

"She moon walks across the stage"

HAHHAAAAAA!!!!!!

Awesome.

Sakura said...

Hey, I gave you an award because I love your blog <3